Dear greenshade/M:

Concrete examples for setting boundaries:

1. You are in your room at home or in your office at work, the door is closed but not locked. A person enters your room/ office and startles you. You say: “You startled me! Next time, do not enter my room/ office when the door is closed. Instead, knock on the door and wait for me to invite you in. Only after I invite you in, then open the door and come in. Can you do that?”

2. The day after, the same person enters your room/ office without knocking. You say: “Do you remember yesterday, I told you to not enter my room/ office when the door is closed?”- wait for an answer. If the person says: “Oh, I am sorry, I forgot.” Say: “Then I will remind you: when my door is closed, knock and wait for me to invite you in. Do not enter until I invite you in. Please remember that.”

3. The person remembers, but a week later, enters your room/ office again, without knocking. In response: you arrange for a lock and every time you close the door, you also lock it from the inside.

anita