Dear greenshade,

Here are the first basics to know about boundary:

You have a boundary. (Your Self has a boundary.)

The root of suffering is an impaired boundary. If you are suffering (especially on an endless, depthless basis), you have an impaired boundary.

An impaired boundary means impaired safety and protection. An impaired boundary means impaired intimacy.

The two main functions of a healthy, Intact Boundary is 1) your boundary protects you; and 2) your boundary facilitates intimacy with other beings.

When you repair your boundary, you restore your safety. When you restore your safety, you will live in the state of Trust, which is THE state of wholeness and healing.

Also–if boundary is about protecting yourself, then it’s important to value yourself. Otherwise you won’t believe that there is anything worth protecting. A person who has chosen to know that they are precious will handle their boundary much differently than one who is choosing to discard or undervalue themselves. You get to be a safe, acknowledged, strong, healthy, fully realized, sacred, Here Self. You get to be you. And an intact boundary will ensure that.

Going forward from these basic ideas would be step by step work. But like someone already mentioned, one way to think of boundary is to know where your ‘yes’es and your ‘no’s go in healthy life. A lot of people have them mixed up–saying no, when they should say yes; saying yes, when they should say no.

I wish you the best. Research on boundary. It could be one of the most important things you do.

Respect
~Jennifer