Dear, NJ..

This line,

We all have a mind controlled by the ego which runs out of control, the monkey mind that makes us as human beings spiral into a cycle of clinging.

it serves me just right.

Couple days ago I was browsing through the internet and found this interesting article, unfortunately I forgot to bookmarked it. However, I remember it was talking about 7 ways to survive a life chaos, rise from the dust like a Phoenix phylosophy. The first step is to stop trying to control things.

And as you said about changing little thing, I am now focus on stop thinking. As much as it is a contrary to my beliefs, I’m actually doing nothing to control my life now. Just came clean to my Mom on my birthday, and she was offering her help, of course. Back then I would never say yes to any of her offers to help me. I’d get my ass back to work in an instance. But this time, I actually agreed when she asked me to move back to my hometown, take a step back, take a rest.

I can’t say this is an easy thing to do. My head keeps killing me with these thoughts that I’m getting old with nothing to be proud of. Agreeing to take a step back from all the troubles and take some rest to seek for treatments means that I will waste another couple months by doing no work, letting go of all the projects I’m currently working on. But I promised myself this break time. I don’t know if this is right though.

Do you think it’s the right thing to do?

Dee.