Dear, Staceyroyce..

When you point out that from my story, I can’t help but to feel sad. Yes, I did that once to a good friend of mine. But what I did after the meth addiction took the best of me were series of unforgivable mistakes.

I lied dozens times. I manipulate my friends just to gain or borrow some cash to buy more meth. I know they love me, even until this very moment. But maybe they feel very tired of dealing with my addiction problems, they start to leave me one by one. I can’t really blame them, who would cope up with such disappointment over and over again?

So this value you said, it kinda washed away by all the bad things I did. And when you said remember who am I in my core, I can’t help but thinking maybe I am such a manipulative addict to the very core. If I wasn’t, how come I have the hearts to do all those things to my friends and family?

How I wish the light in me goes brighter each day.. Unfortunately, in this very dark moment, I can only sense that I’ve been feeding the demons inside me with my meth addiction. It gets bigger and now I can’t contain it anymore. Sometimes it’s even hard to tell the difference between the real me and that demon inside.

How can you tell? How can you keep the demon in line when he had become as big as mine?

Dee.