Dear Anita, T^T

I caved in on day 7 and sent him an email telling him I’ve been thkg abt what went wrong and basically apologized especially for our last conversation, wrote to say I appreciate what he has been doing, told him I am doing fine and wished him well. I didn’t expect him to reply..i wrote it more because our last conversation was abrupt and I wanted to end (temporarily!) instead on a good note and apologize.
He replied saying he deeply appreciate my warm email especially since he was cold the last time. Telling me he nvr blamed me, only blamed time and distance and that it was nvr my fault. He also said that our temperature has always been..I am warmer than him and he is colder than me and we managed to pass our time peacefully,lovingly and gratefully (I don’t understand what he meant by warmer and colder..does it mean he acknowledge that he loves me less?) but still he is sorry that he couldn’t be warmer (couldn’t love me more?) and made me sad in the end (the end??), talked briefly abt what he is doing and ends with ‘thank you for your email, it made me feel ‘uncountably’nice coz I was so sorry and worried and thank you for giving me the chance to say this’. Also at the start of his email he wrote, if I do not answer (your email) you might not feel sad anymore but I would like to tell you…(why does he think his email will make me more sad? Is it a rejection letter??)

I was at peace! T^T but his email threw me off again. I don’t understand..does it sound like a goodbye break up email to you? Not a temporary have break email? I am SOO tempted to write and ask him..but don’t think it s a good idea. Also, it s valentine’s day today…I didn’t receive anythg which meant that he had already planned not to send me anything before we stopped talking. In case you re wondering, I sent him a valentine card nearly 2 weeks ago. My gut is screaming that he doesn’t love me. Will you help me screw my head right please Anita? I’ve had to chant ‘let go..hang on to ur pride..let go..hang on to ur pride…let go’ these 2 days but my resolve is waning.