Dear Adele:

You asked: “how can someone say they love you more than anything and hurt you so much?”
My answer: saying it is easy, verbalizing the sounds and words it takes to say :I love you more than anything” takes very little time and very little effort, a few seconds and it is done. The person saying it may feel love as he says it, or not.

On the other hand, to not hurt you by not using meth, for example, is a very difficult, time consuming effort, requiring so much more than a few seconds of a verbal output.

You asked: “AM i wrong for holding on to his awful past mistakes? IS it my fault?”

My answer: These are not your fault: his history and present practices of meth addiction, his childhood, his past before he met you, all of which were not encouraging regarding a prospect of a healthy relationship with you.

In your relationship with him, you are responsible for your part in it. For example, it is possible that the girlfriend of a meth addict is abusive to the meth addict. The fact that he has been or is a meth addict does not mean that his girlfriend is necessarily not- abusive. It can be both. I think it is often both because of the great distress the two parties are experiencing. Distress often leads to abuse.

My advice: Since abuse begets abuse and he is abusive to you, make this latest breakup the final one. Work on your part in a relationship, being loving, kind, etc., with a man who treats you respectfully. Let professionals help him with his addiction- you are not a professional, not your job.

* Your first line: ““Insanity is doing the same thing over and over”- your quote is incomplete: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

anita