Dear Jojo,
I have sympathy and your feelings of guilt. Since you talk in Christian terms – guilt is a product of the devil. Guilt is evil. Or, I can simply say it is not a useful tool to help anyone and so should be removed from the toolbox of helpful things. Knowledge of what is right and wrong and compassion for yourself and others are useful tools and so use those to the fullest.
Guilt is like a punishment; it like hitting a kid who lies, and telling him how bad he is. Knowledge is sitting with the kid, and explaining why he shouldn’t lie. A kind God wants us to learn and that is it. He does not want to punish. That is a myth that is leftover over from days where people make sacrifices to the gods to please them.
I hope you can first of all have compassion for yourself, and understand that you were seeking connection like all human beings. You are also know that you have hurt her because she wants something more.
But you are not responsible for her feelings. This is great lesson that is expressed over and over again on this website. It is really true. Think of cases where a parent abuses a child. That child, even with horrible things done to him, once he is an adult is still responsible for his actions.
You are not responsible for her. She needs to take responsibility for herself. You should not feel bad about ending contact with her, just end it in as a loving way as possible. She will probably not be able to move on unless you end contact with her, based on how you describe her – maybe like in a year from now, you could just be friends. But if you do stay in touch now, I think you need to tell her your boundries and stick to them, one of them being – I will not respond to any accusation.
Best