Dear Niki:

What an unexpected development. You did right, I strongly believe, by taking the time you need to figure out what to do next. You make a lot of sense, as tired and drained as you are, in the last two posts.

You are also making an observation: “And even now, he is behaving vaguely”- and this is, what I believe you need to do in the present: observe and learn what happened and what is happening. Do not make a choice until you learn.

For three months he cut all contact with you and let you suffer greatly, and alone. How could he have done that? How does a loving person do that to the person they love? I ask: how could he? But he did, so he could. And if he did and could, then why would one assume he will not do it again. After all, he has shown that he can.

I remember in a previous post you wrote that he told you, did he not, in the past, that he was scared to live without you? But then, when his father got ill, if this is true (you stated in your last post): “he got scared and did not know what else to do” except for what he did, which was to cut ALL contact with you.

Why? Why did he choose to cut ALL contact with you? Why was it necessary, in his mind, to make such a drastic decision and keep that decision, day after day for three months?

I wouldn’t take him back, Niki. Be careful, be cautious. Protect your heart. Ask him for answers to your questions, see if he is MOTIVATED to answer you, if he answers at all, if his answers are honest. Without his sincere efforts to answer you adequately, I would not let him back.

Hope you post again- and if you ask, and if he answers, run his answers through me, will you?

* How is he behaving vaguely now (“he is behaving vaguely”)?

anita