Dear Fenrir:

Your mental habit of looking for danger, and so, not being able to relax and be happy in a relationship was formed as a result of your experience with your father. For the child that you were, there was no other choice. Like any human and animal, we tend to danger first, as our first priority. And so, you did.

In search of that customized-to-you way or ways for you to change this mental habit, I ask: are you still in contact with your father? If so, when you are in his presence, in-person, or on the phone, do you often feel distress elevation as a result of the contact with him? How do you feel around him and what is the nature of the current relationship with him?

anita