Dear Cheryl:

You are welcome. Glad you posted again.

You asked in your last posts: “when someone is truly loving me if I reject him(and leave to him to death) will that be not a selfish ?”

1. You are not responsible for his diabetes. You didn’t cause him diabetes. It is none of your doing. In other words: you are not guilty of his diabetes.

2. You cannot cure his diabetes. You cannot heal him from his diabetes. If he dies from his diabetes, it will not be a failing on your part; it will not be something you did wrong. You will not be guilty.

3. The one who is selfish is him, the man. Because you are suffering living in his house. A loving man is not a man who encourages his loved one to suffer. A loving man encourages his loved one to have a good life, to be free, not enslaved.

* You asked: “Don’t I deserve sin?” -no, you don’t deserve punishment if you end the relationship with him and leave his house. You are already being punished every day living there, being enslaved, following orders, having no  one to talk to, being so lonely.

* You asked: “will it be like I am playing with his love feelings and cheat him ?” – no. He is cheating you out of your freedom, out of a better life. A life away from him will be far from perfect, but it will be better than this. He is cheating you out of a better life.

* You asked: “Why because we initially planned and I promised him that I’ll stay lifelong with him ?”- it is okay for you to break this promise because your promise was based on a misunderstanding. The misunderstanding was that you are responsible for his diabetes. This misunderstanding was based on him telling you a lie. Because he lied to you (telling you that he will not be able to live without you, that he will die if you leave), you are free from keeping your promise. When a promise is based on a lie, it does not need to be kept.

You wrote: “I am feeling so guilty of all these, especially his career and health”- you feel guilty, so you believe you are guilty. But you are not, in reality, guilty.

Post again, if you’d like, as often as you would.

anita