Dear mapnerd:

When I read this sentence at the beginning of your last post: “it still feels so unfair that he is able to move on so quickly, to be able to invest in someone else”- it immediately occurred to me that you may be misunderstanding a certain reality of the situation, which is, he did not and is not moving on. And he is not investing in someone else.

Toward the end of your post you wrote: “It baffles me how he could be so able to give that to someone else this quick. Thoughts of him moving on make me nauseous.”

I believe you are misunderstanding the situation. Clearly to me, he has not moved on and is not “moving on”. Also, it is not true that he is giving to her something as valuable as you think he is giving her.

He has not and is not moving on. It is a different woman in his apartment, that is all.

I am typing these very words using a certain laptop computer. If I put away this computer and use another laptop, I will still be typing the same words. I will not be moving on to a higher understanding and insight. It will only be a change computer.

The love he expressed to you at times, when you were together, was real, but it didn’t have much to do with who you were. He had that love inside him and you witnessed it. She may be the current witness.

A love that has to do with who you are takes the work-over-time, the persistence and endurance it takes to work for YOUR well being (as well as his own). This is the difference between witnessing, at times, his loving nature that has nothing to do with the witness AND witnessing the love that is about you.

Love that is about YOU takes your feelings  into consideration day in and day out, operates for your well being, not against it.

anita