Dear Cheryl:

My summary of your fears and values expressed in your last post: you are afraid of abusive men, you  don’t want to be married to one. You are afraid that a future husband will criticize your character for this ten year relationship, and that will feel like hell to you, you wrote. You are afraid to live alone, unattached. You are afraid no one will take care of you in your old age. You want to serve society.

Clearly, to me, your belief that if you end this ten year relationship with this man, he will get sick and die, because of you leaving. And, you therefore believe, that you living in his home under the pretense of being a stranger who needs shelter, is saving his life and his family. This is your delusion.

Terminate the relationship with this man. Leave his home, never to return. Live alone, unmarried, for a while. Do not get into any new relationship, for a while. Worry about old age later. Correct your thinking, see reality clearly, as it is.

You are important; your life is important, don’t sacrifice your life for a delusion. True love should not look like  what “love” looks like in your life, in that home.

I would like to read one day that you live as a free woman, safe from abuse, and in a good, loving relationship.

Again, please feel free to post anytime

anita