Dear Josh:

I wasn’t implying her current relationship is a rebound. If a “rebound relationship” is a non-discriminatory relationship aimed to “quell feelings of loneliness”- that a whole lot of first relationships, or relationships after long periods of non-relationships, are “rebound.”

Regarding sending her a note so to understand what you were lacking in the relationship.. I can probably tell you what you were lacking more than she can, because I am not afraid of a confrontation with you, and she is or may very well be, still. You were lacking honest, open communication with her. But that was only 50% your responsibility. You were not more lacking in this regard than she was.

In such a note, if you were to write to her, I wouldn’t suggest how she could improve on (she didn’t ask). In other words, really, there is as much effective (of the kind that matters) communication between the two of you now as there has been for a long time when you were in the relationship.

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anita