Dear Cheryl:

To clarify:

You repeatedly  referred to the woman as your friend, on this thread, but she is not your friend. As far as she is concerned she is giving you shelter, as a charity case. I know this because she does not allow you to do anything without her permission. It means, she sees herself as superior to you, not equal. She sees you as someone less worthy than her. You are her “charity case”, not her friend.

No person can be content compromising their freedom day in and day out, like you do. We are born to be free, this way- to make our own choices. We can’t follow orders, be unable to do anything without permission and be content that way.

It is not your failure to adjust to living like a prisoner that is the problem, it is that you live like a prisoner  that is the problem. In reality, you don’t have to be a prisoner. You can leave. So you should leave.

One more point: in reality, if the man loved you, he would be encouraging your health, your well being, and so, he would not allow you to be a prisoner: either he would have seen to it that his “first wife” wouldn’t treat you like a prisoner, or he would have encouraged you to live elsewhere as a free woman.

anita