Anita, I am in tears reading your response because I know it is true. I am amazed that you figured all that out from my random rambling, especially because my thoughts are all over the place. I have taken responsibility for so much that has gone wrong, and I am working really hard not to do that anymore. Not everything is my fault, so all I can do is own my role in the relationship. I wish things were different, but it is what it is. I doubt myself constantly, which frustrates me even more.