Dear Cheryl:

You are welcome, Cheryl.

As to the first fear: that you will be responsible to the man’s suffering and death and to the family’s demise if you leave, and therefore you must stay no matter how you feel- if it was true, that you carried such a responsibility, then bring it up for a family conversation: get the husband and first wife together with you, in the living room, and introduce yourself to her, say: “I am second wife, Cheryl. I live here because if I leave, our husband will greatly suffer and die, and as a result you, first wife and your child (and second child, if you have him/her) will be left without a husband. I am here, in this house, to save your family and mine. Your family, first wife, is my family too.”

Then listen to what first wife and husband say- they should both say: “Thank you! Thank you, second wife! We are so glad you are here. Please stay and stay.” And first wife will say: “And you don’t have to ask permission for anything. You are important to our family. You are saving us!”

What do you think, Cheryl, about such a family meeting?

anita