Dear Phyllis:

The pattern of cutting people off and never looking back is probably about you not wanting to be hurt by people.

Your thinking about this person, the #1, 2 and 3 that you listed above reads to me like very reasonable thinking. If you were emotional when you listed these, your logic was excellent nonetheless.

Back to the pattern above: just because you exhibited this pattern does not mean that you should never cut people off, that you should endure every distressing relationship just so to continue the relationship. Some relationships are best terminated. Regarding this man, I suggested that if you do meet him, that you meet him during the day in a public place and in a casual setting so that you will be less likely to… get physically involved with him and then regret it. As long as you protect yourself from acts you will later regret, then meeting with him is not unreasonable.

anita