Hello Anita

My relationship with my 1st husband was very good (if inexperienced as we started dating at 16) until 3 months after we married. He had a string of bad things happen to him (an issue at work which meant he nearly got fired, his mother got cancer, our dog died and then his parents very unexpectedly split) and this triggered a deep depression. He then became suicidal and had to see a psychiatrist. They tried him on different meds but he was never the same person again. He decided he didn’t want to be married any more, that he no longer felt the same for me. This was 3 months after our wedding. We spent the next 2 years trying to see if we could fix things but we couldn’t. He would go thru weeks of saying he thought he loved me again followed by weeks of telling me he didn’t love me. It was a very difficult time where I supported him emotionally and financially and it hurt immensely to be rejected with no real explanation. After 2 years something inside me snapped and I could no longer do ithe any more. He maintained at the end that he didn’t love me anymore and it wasn’t his mental health issues clouding it, but more him being unhappy and unsatisfied with his life causing his mental health issues. Everyone we knew including his family were deeply shocked about how he changed and our separation as it was such a bolt out of the blue.

II think when I met my current husband I was very attracted to the stability he offered and the fact he was very straightforward and trustworthy and dependable. However he literally has no emotion. He can say he loves me but he has never cried since childhood, despite his brother being killed a few years ago. On our wedding day he decided not to do a speech (on the day – I was expecting him to do one and he didn’t say he had changed his mind) because he had nothing to say. I know he loves me in his own way but I feel I am just a part of the furniture in his life rather than a priority. Relationships are a priority in my life, work is the priority with him.

Thanks