Hi Heartbrokengurl,

I just ended a 3-yr relationship that was long distance. The relationship didn’t fail because of the distance, but it did kind of reinforce some avoidant behaviors my ex had. When there was something urgent to talk about, I’d typically offer to drive to her (4 hours) without a second thought but she wouldn’t want me to. If we lived in the same neighborhood, it might have been harder for her to avoid things. That being said, if someone doesn’t want to connect, being 3 miles away is no different than being 3000 miles away.

With the kind of distance you’re talking about, you can’t just jump in the car when needed. You would BOTH have to really want to work at this. I doubt it could succeed if only one person is trying to hold it together. I think lots of communication (phone, skype etc.), specific plans for when you’ll  get together, specific conversations around the area of trust, and a plan for when and how to convert the long distance to no distance would be wise.

So yes, my opinion is that they CAN work, and if you’re really into this guy, consider exploring how you two might go forward.