Dear Yu Wai:

You wrote: “Even if I say I would choose to be with him, he knows that I would always run back to my family whenever they need me”- being so close with your family, with your father and sister, more loyal to them than you would be to your boyfriend if you married him- that makes for an impossible situation if you married him. The anxiety you both feel over his dislike of your father will be a regular occurrence in a marriage with him.

If you lived far away from your family, seeing them once a year or so, maybe you could have a good marriage with a man who dislikes your family. But being as close to your family as you are, this marriage doesn’t make sense.

You wrote that you would choose your family over him, well choose them now and let your boyfriend go…

anita