Dear Joan:

I don’t believe your daughter was born mean. I think she was a very loving baby and child, reaching out to her mother’s love. I believe she didn’t find that love.

You wrote above that you shared traumatic experiences you had with her, you told her about traumatic experiences you had before you had her, maybe in your childhood. That was the wrong thing for you to do to her. A child is not equipped, emotionally, to handle such sharing. Adult psychotherapists go to school for a long time, being trained to handle traumatic sharing by strangers!

And you shared your traumatic experiences with a child.

I recommend that you attend competent psychotherapy so to gain insight into the past, your own traumatic experiences of your childhood, as well as insight into your relationships with your daughter and with your son.

I highly recommend that you exit the role you have taken, that of being a victim of your own daughter, of your own adult children, and take the responsible role, and that is, of a parent honestly looking at what you did right AND wrong for and to your children.

anita