Thanks you Anita, actually I get so confuse to what I want, I got things I want to do is art but is it realistic? But is that what I really wants to do ? I just dont know, if I want to do it I got enough material to publish, even though is unrealistic I still can make it through, if I really likes to do it I can create opportunity myself, but the fact is I never really publish, a lot of excuses too much ego involve not willing to works with other, always drunk myself with self delusion and ignorence, think that I am the best.

I can understand why nobody take me seriously, because I never show my ethuastic to work really hard on that, for example when the opportunities come I just reject it, I scare so much being for not doing well. All my work hide under the sunlight, I just show it to my teacher only. So I always just hang up there, and I can’t let go. I hope that I never interest in art, instead to have a more realistic dream like business. I can’t get focus during my 1st job, all I want is listen to music during at work. I get complaint from the boss so I can’t pass my probation.

The reason that I wants to work also because I wants to save money to go oversea to pursue my dream.

Anita should I learn to let go what I dream?and just more focus on what I can do in the moment to accept that this is reaility?