I never really considered the fact that I could be holding on to some pent up baggage from when I was in elementary school. The kids use to torment me. They called me ugly, fat, but which made me feel inadequate, like it would for most people.

Although as an adult I don’t pay a whole lot of attention to my appearance on a daily basis. I don’t really care how people look at my appearance anymore. I do care how people view me on an intellectual level. I want to be treated with respect. I want my thoughts and ideas to be accepted. I want to be accepted. I fear rejection, so I just cower away.

I have always compared myself to my peers, even now as an adult, I compare myself to friends, my co workers, strangers. It’s kind of maddening actually.