It is difficult for several reasons, I guess. When you get older, you (hopefully) know yourself quite well – your values, your belief systems etc. For example I am a person who could never fall in love with a man, whose “values” are making money and using people for his own good. (And some lifestyle choices might be a problem for someone: for example being a vegetarian, who doesn”t consume any kind of alcohol. I don”t expect those from a man, though.)

By now everyone has had some disappointments, which may make it difficult to give up your guards and be vulnerable. And without it there cannot be true intimacy & connection.

Another thing with people around this age may be cynicism. If there is no faith that beautiful things can happen, they sure cannot. (I try hard not to become cynical even though I sure am frustrated.)

And then there is the magical component: the spark. It either exists or not and you cannot make it and you know whether it is there or not the first time you meet. (For me it has never grown gradually.) I am not referring to somehow childish “my feet felt like spaghetti around him” -feeling, but some kind of chemistry is essential.

Your opinion?