Dear Kayla:

I understand that both, lack of cleanliness and noise equally bother you. I will focus on the noise problem at this point. Please let me know if my understanding is correct:

When your brother had those parties, you were very distressed. First there was the distress of the noise, but then, on top of it was the distress over your feelings not mattering. It made no difference to your brother that you felt distressed about the noise and he kept on with his noisy parties- as if you didn’t matter, as if your distress was not a matter of importance.

Your parents didn’t see or care about your distress either, not enough to protect you, to care for you, so to prevent you from suffering.

And so, you were alone, with your distress. And that made it worse. The noise meant more than noise; it meant something like: “I don’t matter. I am alone. There is no one to protect me. No one to help me.

Am I correct?

anita