Dear Lea:

If the drugs are “the elephant in the room”- then there will always be that elephant in the room. There is no way, I believe, to ever be sure that he will not abuse drugs. Since that concern exists, it is likely to come back. Sometimes you forget about that elephant, at other times it looks less threatening, but it is there.

The way I see the future of any relationship is that there are no guarantees of safety, there are always dangers- as in all areas of life. There is always the possibility of disease and death (non drug related), for one. And so, there is always this or that elephant-in-the-room. It is a matter of probabilities, statistical chances.

Regarding you crying when emotional, during conversations- notice when you start getting emotional and take a break, a time-out from the conversation, listen to music, have tea, take a short walk, do something to relax, and come back to the conversation later on. You may want to try that?

anita