Dear Jan,
sorry to hear that your first sexual experiences have happened like this. It is for sure that he does not have any true feelings for you and is just using you.
Your experience with boys is minimal (you had not kissed with anyone before him) so now you are in a new situation, starting to have relationships. You deserve to have a boy in your life, who wants to know you as a person and likes you a lot and you can feel his respect. With this boy everything has gone wrong. I suggest that you stop communicating and seeing him. You deserve so much better than this!
Someone may suggest that you need to think about your childhood and all the ways your parents neglected you and get some therapy. There is no need for that because you are not broken. You are just a girl with little experience from relationships. What you could do is talk with some friends who have experience of loving relationships with boys. Then you realize what kind of indegrienses healthy and loving relationships have. You will be fine! 🙂
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 