Dear apples333:

You are welcome. Not expecting Prince Charming is wise. On the other hand, you do need his honest input before you invest so much as in moving to a city for the purpose of promoting this relationship. No matter how much you correct your attitude and expectations of a man, it takes two to make a relationship work.

So his input is necessary. You wrote: “I don’t think he’ll be ready to make a real plan but he might be ready to just talk about it”-

it is fair if he is not ready for a real plan, but it will be unfair for you to invest much time and energy not knowing that he is not ready. So it is your right to ask and his responsibility to answer and share with you his plans, or lack of, with you honestly, his thoughts and feelings as well as the life he is living (if he is dating others, partying, and such, which is not congruent with having a monogamous relationship).

Communicate and keep communicating just enough so both of you know what is going on with the other, and no one is making incorrect assumptions about the other.

anita