Dear laelithia:

I think that it is a good idea to meet him over for coffee IF you are able to adhere to the coffee-only context, that is if you will be able, during that one meeting, to not re-start any physically intimate relationship with him again. (One meeting may lead to more, but one at a time, at this point).

To be very clear: I believe he is not a good relationship material for any woman, at this point. And so, I do not recommend that you place yourself in danger, the danger of being hurt more than you already are by re-starting a romantic relationship and being rejected and replaced yet again.

In the CONTEXT of those 13 days/ one month relationship with you he was loving to you, you perceived that correctly, I believe. That context is now gone and I don’t think the experience you had with him could be duplicated because you know a whole lot more now than you knew then.

A different context is what I suggested. Regarding the three hour distance- I was aware of it. If meeting him is very important to you (in the different context, which I cannot stress enough), then you can invest in the travel. Hopefully he will give you a few hours of conversation/ interview.

If he doesn’t agree to meet you a short distance from where he lives, well, there is nothing you can do about that.

anita