Dear Hailey,

sorry to hear about the situation. I have no experience of such a situation, but hopefully I can say something that will help you.

It seems that the loss of a close person  (which has nothing to do whether the person was a family member or not) has an immense impact on your boyfriend. Maybe for the first time in his life he has really begun to think about the meaning of life and relationships.  His loss has made him realize that nothing is forever and that is what makes everything very valuable and fragile.

The last thing he needs right now is any pressure. If you tell him “but we had plans about moving together” is like a child complaining “I want to have my candy right now.” (Sorry to sound harsh.) You never know what kind of surprises life will bring and that is why you need to be able to adjust.

He needs your comforting, understanding and care. There are no rules how long it takes anyone to get back to normal after such a loss – even though things will never be the same again. If the person feels that he is accepted and loved the way he is right now, it may speed the process.

Why the hurry? If you share a special connection, it should be no problem to wait for a while to continue with the plans which were made before the dramatic loss. In this situation he needs to FEEL your love so that he can be sure that he – at some point – wants to take the next step with you, having a home together with you. It is said that home is where the heart is and you can have it right here and right now in these circumstances – the rest is just walls and floors, which is secondary.