Sorry Anita, I seem to have submitted that last response too early.

Anyway, that is what he had sent to me days later. I could not then (and still cannot) understand the sudden change in his feelings for me. I recognize his pattern now with women, but what I don’t understand is why he reassured me so many times that this wouldn’t happen with us, that he truly saw a future, and that he was going to work hard to make it happen.

I then start to ruminate about our last visit, and how I didn’t behave myself (ex. Having a meltdown/blow up while intoxicated) maintain boundaries (ex. Refuse to drink too much) and slowed the pace of the relationship rather than pressuring him to think about moving in with me/my city (essentially me putting my foot on the gas pedal). Do you still think after everything that this would have eventually been the outcome of our relationship no matter what I did or didn’t do?

You asked about my precious long term relationship. It was “nice” for the most part, but it was lacking passion (at least on my end) from the very beginning. Near the end of the relationship, we were mostly friends/roommates. Since then, it seems any relationship I have had that is passionate and that I’m excited about seems to be short (1-4 months) and painful when it ends.

I think this last breakup is particularly painful because with all the reassuring from him that we would be together long term, that he would work hard to make sure that happened, I was starting to believe I had finally broken this cycle, and that for the first time, someone I was so passionate about and wanted a future with finally felt the same way about me. Now I’m stuck with thinking what could have been, if I had been truer to myself in this last relationship?