Dreaming715,

I am so sorry for your situation. I also am going through something somewhat similar. My sister has developed a deep psychosis that I believe also borders on schizophrenia, and my mother is also currently in rehab and has been for the past 3 weeks due to a sudden case of severe alcoholism. She is also very mentally ill.

There is a huge burden that comes and goes. I have spent about the past 6+ months or so trying to slowly cut myself off from my family. I know it’s painful and feels selfish, but part of me cannot seem to handle the phone calls and the news via my father (the only one I still speak to). I go pretty well with accepting my situation and knowing I can’t save them, until I receive news or a harassing text from one of them that brings me into a downward spiral. Ironically, today I finally blocked their numbers.

It took me a very long time to come to this conclusion that this is what is best for me. I know it might be harder for you because your brother seems to get better and worse repeatedly and it is more drugs than it is a mental situation. Since it’s more “concrete” in the sense of drugs, there is more of a feeling like you could help or save him.

Like Anita said, I think it is best to tell him how much you love him and how much you care. Let him know that when he wants help, that you are there for him. But until then, you also have to protect yourself by not getting caught up in all of the issues that repeatedly come up. There is only so much you can handle. Say your peace and then distance.

It is so much easier said than done. I worry myself, that if I lost my mother or my sister that I might bare guilt. I don’t know how to come to that conclusion. But this past year I have fallen apart mentally by taking it all on. Coping is protecting yourself in any way you can.