@Smile- Yes I’ve been calm the entire time. I didn’t bug him about the issue and if anything I talked to him less than I usually do. I just didn’t initiate the conversation as much mainly for myself. I need time to get back to being friends but that is definitely something I want in my life. I believe there are a select few I can be really close with so once I have those people in my life I rarely let go of that relationship quickly. Right now I’m giving it as much space as possible. We hung out before with another friend and he did say if you ever want to hang out lets hang out. He even told me when he is leaving and coming back from his trip. I know that’s because he still wants to be my friend. We are both appreciative of each other and get into deep conversations. I guess looking at it now I felt like telling him was a good idea because I can appreciate him more as a friend. The reason I feel so tormented by this is because I have another friend that knows what’s going on and they basically said he was just “emotionally dating” me. I don’t really believe that to be true because he can’t help it if we just met and we connect on that level. It doesn’t mean he has to start a relationship with me. That’s too much pressure for anyone, even me. Even though I can rationalize this, I still cry when I think about it. I’m just wondering will it always be like that? I don’t have much experience with this but I don’t want it to be like that. I still want to see my friend.

@Susannah- Saying platonic friendships are possible truly makes me feel better. We’ve talked so many times after that but not about this.

@Inky- it could be where I’m scared of rejection too. The thing is when other guys approach me I’m not scared of rejection from them later on. I feel like deep down I could really connect with him which is super hard for me. That’s why I think it hurts more.

Thank you for your replies!