Hi Cee,

Your date sounds just like the guy I recently dated (which state are you at, if you don’t mind me asking?). He also just got out of long term relationship just a month before we met. At the beginning, everything seemed perfect between us. There was a lot of affection, attention and care. I also was introduced to his circle of friends and his siblings. I should recognize that was a red flag as things moved kinda fast. But I was inexperienced and thought it was just we’re so great together and things evolved naturally. Therefore, after into a month or two of dating, I noticed he became distant and he mentioned he did not look for a long term relationship at one point. He also revealed to me that he still had some residual feelings for his ex, although they could not get back together due to their differences. In addition, he was undergoing job issues at the moment. I don’t know if it’s the reason, or just the combination of everything, he ended breaking up with me. We haven’t contacted since and it’s been a month.

It’s been a really tough time for me at the beginning, as I constantly tried explaining or finding excuses his actions through my clouded judgement. A friend of mine kept telling me he didn’t like or care about me. It’s just his act to get me into hookup or friend with benefits (we didn’t have sex yet) agreement, but gradually gave up since I didn’t seem to change my mind. She also stated that if a guy is really into you, he wouldn’t even think about his ex and his job wouldn’t be a big problem. If he really likes you, he’d be afraid of losing you and thus, want to nail you down as soon as possible. It makes sense. It’s just… I was hoping what she said wasn’t true, because I would feel like I was just nothing to him.

Cee, there’s really not much things we can do in these circumstances. The best way is letting time tell you the answer. It may or may not the answer we want but until then, we can only focus on ourselves.  People tell me to move on and date others. But I just give my heart a break to regain emotions and only date when I feel I’m ready.

Best of luck,

For you and me