Hi Anita,

Once again, i cant decide what best to say..im tired.

I have never learnt to recall successes. Only failures. My self criticism is the highest of all. My subconscious mind is a punishment that will destroy feelings of self worth. Sometimes my imagination fills in blanks with really horrible stuff.

Where other people will get angry and stand up for themselves immediately in a public situation, i usually question myself first and back down. This is like a factory fault in me..i dont know how to change it and thus make people treat me better.

As such Anita, im afraid that the problems i have are not solvable. I am not charismatic like my ex who despite all of his cruelty, gets a lot of friends and girlfriends. I dont think he´s happy, but just like everyone..the goal is to appear happy.

I am hopeless at that. I am unable to hide my feelings.