Dear wildoceanflower:

Questioning yourself first and backing down instead of standing up for yourself is not a “factory fault”  in you. It is something you were taught and successfully learned. If you stood up for yourself, you suffered negative consequences, so you learned to back down immediately.

I do know that the learning of such things at an early age (those Formative Years) is very powerful, and feels as strong as if it was a … factory fault.

Only it is possible to change such learning with motivation, determination and often enough, when something good happens to allow you the peace of mind and energy to go about it. I wish something good like that happened to you.

anita