Thanks for your input, Anita.

I think the answers to all my problems are going to come from Buddhism/self-mastery and not Christianity. I have been shaken by my experience of the latter, because I have come to realise that some priests simply don’t fully believe in it. Being a priest seems to be more of a career choice than anything else. Yesterday I spoke to an exorcist about my experiences.  He told me to see my GP. To be honest, I don’t think he could really be bothered dealing with the problem because it was his day off.  It took a LOT of bravery on my part for me to do that because I knew they wouldn’t believe me. But I had to try, I had to satisfy myself that I had done everything in my power to address the situation. If this ‘thing’ ends up driving me to commit suicide I at least fought it as hard as I could. And no God will dare judge me for it.

That will be the last time I EVER look to the Catholic Church for help. I wonder to myself what use is such an institution if it merely plays at being spiritual. I think that in the end it will be overtaken by scientific argument, rationality and reason, because it has already accepted them.

You are quite correct. A person needs a support system for this. But there is none. This is why Lord Buddha struck out on his own. He had to. It seems I am being encouraged to create an entirely new belief system free from religious dogma, which is why my experiences often included Pagan and even Norse Heathen gods. (It seems God/Universe is all inclusive, but religions want to stick a label on Him/Her and claim Him/Her as being peculiarly theirs). Please do not equate God(s) with religion and doctrine. God(s) does NOT issue threats or demands. God is a liberator not a punisher. God is life, not death.

You don’t need a religion. Everything you need is inside you.

Best wishes, and thank you for your help,

Tannhauser