Fingerist, I desperately want my life to return to normal. I want happiness and contentment. I have had enough of chasing after God and spiritual things and I just want to be like I used to be prior to 2013.

Unfortunately, I can’t do these things. I am in the middle of something strange and frightening. Energies keep coming into my head and they pass through my body. These energies have caused me terrible mental anxiety in the past 6 months, but what they are doing now is even worse: they are causing a deep emptiness inside me, particularly in the stomach area. It is as if there is a void there, and it causes me to fill it up with food and drink. It really is horrible and it is consuming everything.

The Catholic Church is a fraud and a joke, it’s priests merely play-actors. They aren’t spiritual in the slightest. In fact, I think for many of them the priesthood was simply a career choice. I have personally come across too many poor or bad priests in my time. Priests who were exorcists but who don’t wish to be bothered on their day off. Priests who viewed child pornography on their computers in their spare time. Priests who openly admitted in the pulpit at Mass that they didn’t know why they had become a priest in the first place and wondered if they had made the right decision. These are the last people anyone should be going to for help, especially the vulnerable.

I personally don’t believe in the Christian God archetype anymore. I think it is a childish concept. I have gone through such unprecedented levels of anguish and suffering in the past few years that I think the idea of a ‘loving Father’ is plainly ridiculous and an insult to one’s intelligence. There is no God out there. There is NOTHING except the Universe. That’s the one thing these energies bring with them: nothingness. And it is very scary. The more these energies come into me, the more empty I feel. The energies often make me feel like self-harming.

And in all these four years, not one person has offered ANY explanation for what I have experienced and how I might alleviate it. No one has helped in the slightest.

Thanks a lot.

Tannhauser