Dear Busygal:

You are welcome. I suppose thinking about him is a habit  at this point, “a habit of the mind”, as my former therapist referred to such. You are in the habit of thinking about him and with the thoughts there is anger and distress. So “the tricky part” is how to weaken and stop this habit. If you could notice when you start thinking about him, then disengage, again and again, you will weaken this habit.

I think that this habit is fueled by the danger this man represents for you and your thinking brain trying to neutralize this danger by thinking and thinking of a solution. If you believe there is nothing you can do, at this point, about the situation, and so, there is no solution to be found, then there is no point for more thinking.

Only the thinking is a habit, and so, like any habit, disengage again and again, and be patient with the process because it does take practice through time.

anita