Hi Eliana,

I have also dealt with mental issues in my life, although I never sought medication for them, and I had a few ideas that I thought might help. I know how chaotic the mind can be! One of the things that helped me the most was basically to just ignore my thoughts the first time they arise. You have a thought, and then you have a reaction to the thought. I have started focusing on the reactions . Just pretend the thought isn’t even attached to you personally. It’s just a blip of words. It has no meaning except the meaning you give it. But we place so much importance into these blip of words that they start to overwhelm our lives. Mediation, just sitting and listening and breathing without interrupting the flow of sounds may help to start to calm your mind a little. Listening — to the faintest sound, to all the different sounds — can be very healing. Ignoring your thoughts and homing in on the reactions they produce could also help with your coping skills you mentioned you have some trouble with.

I can also relate on the dating side of your story. One of my biggest fears is my own issues making someone who I love life worse. So I don’t let myself to connect to many people. I actually like not having another person to always worry about, because I worry so much already. I read that much of unhappiness is the excessive desire for others to think about us. So I don’t hope for anyone to think about me. Instead, I’m just taking some time to work on myself, on my life. You can search and search for the right person, but perhaps only when you are ready will that person come into your life.

At least you realize the issues that are preventing from finding a meaningful relationship. A lot of women don’t realize their issues. Work on the things about yourself that you don’t like. As you progress in your self-development, I think you will notice the quality of your relationships will improve as well. Focus on the possibilities — there are as many as you imagine!