Hi Lily,

Sounds like you are surrounded by negativity… at work, at home.  It’s hard being one who was cheated on because you tend to be left with this idealized image of the partner. He left me for her, while you are the one stuck alone thinking about him with her.

Try not to do that. I know he was probably a great guy, but he probably had his issues, too. It helps me to remember those when I am trying to move on from someone. It takes time and conscious effort.  Notice when you are thinking about him, realize that it doesn’t help, and then try to think about something else. It doesn’t do much good to think about the person at all when you are trying to move on. Try to find something you love to do instead. Reading, learning something new, and working on something meaningful can also help to take your mind off him for a while.

Meditation can also help because you are training your mind to observe itself. You are staying present and not lost in the thoughts. Continuous stretches of quiet and calm. Listening to sounds instead of the thoughts in your head. Noticing all the colors and details instead instead of thinking about him.

Try to focus on the hope, instead of thinking about the things that are bothering you.