Hi Aks,

You know that you want both your parents and your boyfriend in your life. Perhaps instead of planning on one big talk or letter to change everything, change could be a gradual process. Think about it from your parents’ perspective: this way of understanding life that they have known ever since they were young is being challenged. What could be the best ways to see from their perspective, and then let them know your’s, and then search for the similarities in the perspectives? Maybe you can begin there. Perhaps both sides could make small changes to produce big change.

Some of it sounds like it is beyond tradition. Some of it seems like personality conflicts. Perhaps it would help to know that your parents and boyfriend don’t have to get along, or even see each other that much, but if they love you they can make you happy by simply not talking or complaining about the other person.