Hi Anita,

Thank you for your sharing and advice.

I tried blocking all my thought about him as I feel it’s pretty pathetic and I don’t even know what kind of feeling it is. It’s certainly not love. Because love is built over time, not just a rush of hormone. If it was infatuation, it should have ended by now, and why did I even get jealous of him getting another girl? My brain tells me he’s not the one. No matter what circumstances are, a guy feels ‘meh’ about me shouldn’t deserve me. But this rational thought is buried in the foolish heart.

You’re probably right! I may be just in love with the idea of him and how relationship turns out to be. If giving more time, when all of these illusion gets weaker, I will fall out of feelings for him. I don’t know why I can understand it, I think I’m strong enough (I didn’t beg or even cry after we broke up) but still cannot accept this truth. Maybe my self-esteem is not as good as I thought.

I talked to my family, my friends, got myself in gym, spent time playing sports, hung out and got involved into hobbies that I abandoned long time ago. But whenever I’m alone, the sadness and loneliness starts emerging. I think the only way to get out of it is keeping busy all the time and being in social events more.