Hi Brittany,

I can relate, as I too had problems, trauma, etc as a child. In my 20’s and 30’s, it seemed, I had no problems. I lived in Florida, has lots of friends, was living the good life, had a better relationship with my father. Had a condo on the beach..everything seemed great. Yet, I could not seem to maintain a long term relationship despite intensive counseling and medication.

When I got older and out of college, I lost my Dad, and everything seemed to go downhill. I was to the point where it a man found me attractive, I had so much anxiety, I had to have a drink or two just to go out on a date. I have not dated in over a decade due to fear. I put too much pressure on myself and Psych myself out, and get extremely anxious where I had to cancel the date. This might be what you are doing. Putting too much pressure on yourself..like “will he like me”? And everything else our thoughts lie to us about. Instead, try thinking instead of “a date” think of it as “meeting a new friend” and just keep telling yourself that. Eventually you Will believe it, and it will take the pressure off. Instead of thinking “will he like me” think “what can this man offer or enhance my life” is he nice? Are we compatible? Am I having fun with him? Is he funny? That will also take the pressure off. Try to go somewhere that is not intimidating, like a comedy club, an athletic event, a video arcade, the whole time thinking “I am out with a friend”. Keep us posted.