Hi Brittany,

Yes, I was able to have longer term relationships, but still not the quality I wanted. At that time, I had just started therapy, and unfortunately had some diagnosis, which made it difficult for me to have any kind of stability, and good coping skills when I would get distressed with men.

I then had several hospitalizations, and finally had to give in, and I am on SSDI right now. I did have a 3 year amazing (my longest one) but that was over a decade ago. I told this man about my disorders and he was truly a blessing, and he was very patient with me, when I would have one of my “episodes”. It was also one of the most stable and sweetest relationships I have ever had. I can’t say he was the love of my life, but I cared for him deeply. We did break-up, but it was mutual, and we have remained close friends. Yes, I was very scared. I even had a panic attack before my date with him, but I did alot of deep breathing, and told myself over and iver, “it’s not a date” “I’m meeting a new friend”..and it works, it really does work.

I am not dating right now, just concentrating on the intensive inpatient/outpatient treatment I am in and my 12 step support groups which has been a Godsend. I am still on disability. If I were to date, it would take a very patient man to be with me, and understand mental illness. I feel each day brings me closer to something more long term and healthy. Just keep telling yourself “friends only” and you won’t be so scared and just let things develop slowly.