Dear Free Moon:

On the first page of your thread we communicated about something very relevant to the boyfriend/female friend relationship that you focus on. I will quote part of what you wrote there:

“You hit the nail on the head. I have known for a while that I’ve been dealing with something pre-existing, but I just didn’t give it much more thought and instead, focused on my strong resentment on the situation.”- interestingly, since you posted these very words, you went back to focusing on the female friend of your boyfriend and their relationship and you stayed away from the pre-existing situation as if we didn’t bring it up at all.

You posted on that one post, regarding the pre-existing situation: “When I was around 9 or 10, we had a nanny who took care of me… I thought she was taking away my mom from me. I was so jealous of their relationship because my mom was paying more attention to the nanny than me, and it felt as if she was wishing for her to be the daughter instead…” So, you are afraid that your boyfriend wishes his female friend was his girlfriend, not you… you are feeling that like the nanny, this female friend is taking your boyfriend away from you?

You wrote there: “When I dated my ex-boyfriend before, I was uncomfortable about his friendship with a mutual friend…” – the pre-existing situation with the nanny projected itself not only into your current relationship but into a previous one.

About the previous relationship, involving that mutual female friend, you wrote: “in the end, the ‘gut'”- it was, after all, an inaccurate projection of the pre-existing situation with the nanny.

And yet, this pre-existing situation that keeps projecting itself into your life has not been mentioned again. I am thinking it needs to be resolved, feelings experienced then need to be processed and released.

What do you think/ feel about it?

anita