Dear Maria:

It is my understanding that you really like the fact that this guy is emotionally attached to you, especially since your eight year relationship ended because that man was not attached to you and left you for another woman.

On the other hand, you are concerned about marrying him because he is not working and has nothing planned for the future business he says he will start after getting married with you.

If you marry him and have children with him, the finances have to be discussed before marriage, before you agree to marriage. To be discussed: will the two of you be living off your salary alone? Will his family’s money be part of your marital budget? The business he may start, whose money will go into starting it: his family’s? Your salary?

This is a serious topic to be addressed and resolved before you agree to marriage.

Note: the breakup of your eight year relationship is not a good-enough reason to marry this particular man. There may be others, more suitable for you.

Regarding his abusive language to others, this needs to be resolved as well, before- and if- you agree to marriage, especially if you intend to have children and you don’t want them exposed to that language.

anita