Craig thank you for reading my post and offering your visions. Your perspective on the relationships as well as your experiences resonates with my experiences and wants. I like to think that the way I choose to learn, to live life, for lack of a better term, is a holistic approach. I would like to be involved, deeply involved, with a woman where my efforts to be a better person in many ways, is in line with hers. To me that would mean “we found each other” where we both can nurture each other’s desire to think and be in a better pace. It is not the antiquated proverbial my way or the highway. It would be our way. There is one thing that is 100% certain. I will not settle for less just because I have not found that person. I remain patient in quest for finding this person. Even that has a caveat in that it has been said many times in many different ways, that patience is not as passive as people think. It is active. It is concentrated strength, even though we do like to see it as a passive gesture. I think that people do exhaust their efforts to find that special person and settle for less than what they want to pacify their insecurities because they are lonely. For many, to settle for less is the answer for them and I guess that too is also fine for them. Doing so has no value to me. For many this feeling of being lonely chips away at their self worth. I used to doubt myself and question my self worth because I was lonely. A long time ago I realized that the feeling of being lonely is really a chance for me to question, what the hell is going on. Even that turns into an invitation, an opportunity, for me to find a quiet place, quiet my mind, be at peace and mental clarity, and clear the attic so to speak. When I do that, the feeling/experience that I get I cannot describe to someone that would comprehend what I am feeling. That is not to say that the person I would describe that experience/feeling to is not capable of comprehending. It is just my level of experience in describing what I feel is limited by finding words coherent enough to put the listener in the same realm to fully appreciate it.

I think for many people they do not want to change. They are comfortable in the narrow margins of their comfort zone. For them that may be just fine. For me, that’s just like eating broccoli-I refuse to do it. Not going to happen. I often tell people that learning has no value if change is no longer necessary. But for me, life is about learning, it’s about making the necessary changes for a much better quality of life, it’s about connecting with the elements that effect change for the better and being able to nurture that knowledge.

Like you, I am still searching for what it is that I want. For me, looking for I want is not singular.  Maybe by the end of the book of my life and I am about to go into the next “room”, as I call it when my body dies, I will be able to say that indeed, I did find what I want. Until then, I keep learning, and I learn and I learn…

Thank you for sharing a personal side of your life. I appreciate learning from you…