Hi Rox…I once had a g/f  that over reacted to the point where her reactions were excessive for the minor things that happened. Her reactions were explosive. These reactions were invariably followed by the requisite “I’m sorry”. This pattern continued with pendulum regularity, an explosive reaction followed by the get out of jail free card of I’m sorry. I’m trying to recall an example of a minor infraction turning into a federal offense…Here’s one…I bought some table napkins once, but didn’t open the package and put some in the napkin holder. It’s not that these over reactions kept occurring, but they were also brought out in the open months and sometimes years after the event happened. I guess it served to shore up her arsenal of emotional abuse for later use. I told her that by her continuous doing that is tantamount to hauling around a bad of trash. I told her that she needs to throw out the trash. I also told her that in talking to me that way robs her an opportunity to develop and maintain a happy healthy relationship. It got to the point where when she would react so violently where I told her that she was either looking for a fight or looking to start one. To me it seemed as though, in her mind, a fight that evolved into a you vs me showdown was mandatory in a relationship. It was not long after that, that I went my own way. To this day I will not tolerate emotional abuse. She was all upset in a bad way. She told me, “I’ll change.” I told her, “I look forward to that. You will find such love and happiness that way. But when you do, if you do, stop by some time and let me know how you’re doing and we’ll do lunch.”

I think what I am trying to say is maybe now is a perfect time for you to take a step back and have a talk with yourself, and, your self, and admit that “yes this is how my reaction affects not only me but others as well.” There is absolutely nothing wrong in doing that. When I did that, it made a HUGE difference in my life. I constantly have my fingers on that pulse. Have a talk with yourself, Rox. Throw out the trash. It will make a lot more room in that huge heart that I KNOW you have that will make more room for someone special for you to hold.

Pearce