Dear Rox:

I suppose your relationship with a parent (or parents) was one where you felt unsafe and fearful. As an adult you project your fear into the relationship, see dangers where there is none (the MC), get angry at him and demand that he corrects his behavior and make you feel safe. Problem is there was no danger, he did no wrong (again, in the MC example), and it is not his behavior that needs correcting.

For as long as you automatically project your childhood fear (and anger) into romantic relationships, you are unable to see the man for who he is (trustworthy or not, loving or not). This childhood projection is like a big, dark cloud overshadowing the man. So you can’t see who he is.

Do you agree with my understanding?

anita